Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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