so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
