i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She is in my trunk
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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