oh god the rape fog is back!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
