Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
