I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
