Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Porn is love you can see.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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