Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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