U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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