HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
