I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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