And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
