i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
