Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize