3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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