ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
