You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
