a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
