if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
