Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
