her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
