Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
