somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
