I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
