you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
