I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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