3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
MIDGETS
????
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Congratulations! We have a period
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
