I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize