College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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