Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
