I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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