and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
