you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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