I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need to align my fucking chakras
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
