Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
