what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
