let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
