that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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