it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
