found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
