You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
