We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
