Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
