this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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