I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize