I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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