After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
