the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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