lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
