help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
