don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
