You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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