ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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