dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
