hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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