I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
