bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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