I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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