having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My liver just had a heart attack.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
