Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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