Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
