why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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