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Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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