Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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